‘I… promised I'd protect it’: Dad refuses to tell his new wife how much money is in his son's savings, which was left to him by his late mother, but his wife won't back down

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Oct 18, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

Blended family members often misassume their roles in their new family dynamic. Does a stepparent reserve the right to know everything about their stepchild, even when it comes to money and assets left to them by their biological parent? That's the million-dollar question, and the father in the story below thinks "no".

When a loved one knows their time is imminent, they'll distribute their assets to loved ones who they believe need them. Therefore, it makes sense that the late mother in this story leaves her son a substantial sum of money that can be used for his education and future endeavors.

Given that the biological mother in this situation has passed, her son and his father will never truly know if she would have been fine with their new family having knowledge of and possible access to the funds. It's safe to assume, however, that the late mother left this money to her son, and her son only. The father has since put money into the savings account to help it grow, but his new wife insists that she should be given all the details about it.

What do you think? Keep scrolling to finish the story.

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  • 01
    two images, one of a man holding a savings jar and another of a woman arguing with her husband
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    "AITAH because I won't tell my wife what my son/her stepson has in savings from my late wife?"

    My wife (40s) and I (40s) have a blended family. I have a 16 year old son with my late wife.
    via Jimverseen
  • 03
    My wife has a 13 year old daughter and a 12 year old son with her ex- husband and they share custody.
    via Jimverseen
  • 04
    We have a 4 and a 2 year old together. When my late wife was sick she told me she wanted a % of the compensation she was issued for her medical misdiagnosis to go to our son's savings.
    via Jimverseen
  • 05
    She also had a second savings account she wanted to add to it. This was on top of what the two of us had saved for him before her illness.
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  • 06
    I honored her wishes and I continued saving for our son's future. This is a promise I made to my late wife that I have stood by.
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  • 07
    I also promised I would protect it and make sure it was only ever for him, nobody else.
    via Jimverseen
  • 08
    When my present wife and I started seriously dating we talked about what saving would look like for our kids if/when we married.
    via Jimverseen
  • 09
    She knew I had always saved as had my late wife. We didn't discuss how much either of us had saved for our existing kids but we agreed to an amount every month that would be saved for all three and this was talked about again when we had children together.
    via Jimverseen
  • 10
    Recently there has been a lot of stress on my wife. Her ex has refused to discuss my stepkids savings and if he pays anything or not.
    via Jimverseen
  • 11
    She also feels like we haven't been able to save enough every month like promised because it was just one thing after another.
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  • 12
    There are month's we've missed because of things beyond our control. Life stuff mostly like things breaking, etc.
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  • 13
    A few weeks ago my wife told me we should put all the cards on the table and discuss what all five kids have and decide how we proceed with making sure everyone gets what they need for the future.
    via Jimverseen
  • 14
    I told her I would happily discuss what I have saved for my oldest, but I would not be discussing the money left by his mom.
    via Jimverseen
  • 15
    man holding a savings jar
    via Towfiqu barbhuiya for Unsplash

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 16
    She pushed back on it and said all the money should be taken into consideration. I told her we don't know what all the money is.
    via Jimverseen
  • 17
    I said our parents could be saving money for the kids' futures, her ex could have money for my stepkids, his parents could have money for my stepkids.
    via Jimverseen
  • 18
    We can't say for certainty what everyone will have at the end and it's only fair to discuss what she and I have and can save.
    via Jimverseen
  • 19
    She told me it sounds like I don't trust her. I responded by asking why she wants to know this so badly.
    via Jimverseen
  • 20
    By only talking about what we've saved we're on an even footing. She told me if we knew everything we could focus on the kids who will have less a little more.
    via Jimverseen
  • 21
    That our younger two are probably going to be the worst off long term and she would be open to combining all the money and dividing it.
    via Jimverseen
  • 22
    I told her I was not on board with that and what my son has from his mom is not going to be shared or used for any of the other kids.
    via Jimverseen
  • 23
    We argued about it but I refused to say. She feels like that's wrong when we're married.
    via Jimverseen
  • 24
    I told her it's not my money, nor is it her money or money that we can or should be accessing.
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  • 25
    It's from my late wife to our son and that's all there is to it. My wife said she feels like I'm keeping her in the dark and not trusting her with something important.
    via Jimverseen
  • 26
    She said it cuts her ability to fully engage in conversations we need to be able to have and decisions we need to make as a couple.
    via Jimverseen
  • 27
    АІТАН?
    via Jimverseen

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family dynamics family drama entitled parents saving money kids stepmom reddit story family feud parenting dad family reddit thread Reddit savings money son parents stepson
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